Silence
by SlytherinElektra
Summary: Spoilers for 3X20 Kansas. AU-ish. Sick Hook. After the drowning incident, Hook is more hurt than he lets on. The consequences of the trauma catch up to him dramatically. Whump, angst, Emma feels.
1. Chapter 1

His throat hurt.

His lungs hurt.

Everything hurt, but it was not the place or time to complain. This was the moment of the newborn baby and the proud parents, their moment to shine, their spotlight. After all the troubles they were together again. Hook wouldn't interrupt. He felt that in the whole meltdown and fight with Zelena he'd been nothing but a nuisance. He made Emma lose her magic and had put everyone in even more danger. If he hadn't insisted on helping...

Hook knew that it was probably best to leave, give the family some space. It was quite clear that no one needed (or wanted) him there.  
He took a deep breath. Somehow it was getting more and more difficult just to draw breath. Hook didn't give it much thought. After all that had happened, all the magic, all the curses his boo-boos seemed a bit ridiculous.

Emma and Henry were looking at the baby in the hospital room. Killian smiled. He would really miss them if the finally left for New York. But if that was what Emma wanted... Gosh, he was so exhausted he could hardly think right now. Was it because of the near drowning or because of the action that followed he didn't know, and didn't care.

He just wanted to rest for a bit. Unfortunately, the chairs from the waiting room were suddenly way too far, so he simply sat on the floor of the corridor, in front of the room. He was so exhausted. Back against the wall - forgetting the world. Just take a deep breath. He was strangely dizzy and sleepy. Maybe if he closed his eyes for a bit...

* * *

The nurse was going to the changing room after her shift finished when she noticed him. Tall guy sprawled in the floor, apparently asleep, in front of one of the rooms. Well, it was not her concern - she had finished. He did look kinda pale... No! Her shift was over, she was going to change and go home. Well, maybe she could check that this guy was okay before going. It seemed a strange place to fall asleep.

She approached the man and softly spoke.

"You all right? This is not a good place to sleep, dear."

No answer. But there was a noise... The man was trying to breathe, but couldn't. She knew respiratory distress when she heard it.

"I need a doctor here, now!"

The nurses call startled all th people in the room opposite. That was when Emma noticed Hook slumped in the hallway across them. Oh god...  
Doctor Whale and some nurses put him in a gurney and took him away in no time.

Henry look at his mother, worried, and voiced the question of all the occupants of the room.

"What's going on?"

"I'll go and try to find out." Emma said.

She left the room, giving a small smile to the rest. No need to concern them too. But Emma had to admit she was worried. What if the drowning incident had had more consequences than she thought? What if there was some dark magic involved, something she didn't know about? What if he was dying and she hadn't noticed?

Time went by and she didn't know a thing. She tried to get in the room where Killian was, but they told her no one was alloed and that the Doctor would talk to her when he finished working.

The wait felt eternal. She thought of going back to his parents for a bit, but what if while she was out there something happened? No, they were safe, for now. Hook... she wasn't so sure. She heard machines beeping and orders being shouted - she didn't like how this looked.

Emma's anxiety levels were sky high by the time the Doctor came out and talked to her.

"Hey, what's happening? What's wrong with him?"

"ARDS. Strange, right? He was ok when the..." But Emma interrupted him. She was in no mood for technicalities.

"What's that?"

"Acute respiratory distress syndrome. It's an inflammation of the lungs, a problem to breathe. Do you know what might be the cause? Any recent traumas, injuries, illnesses...?"

Yes, she knew.

"He... he nearly drowned a few hours ago, I had to revive him." The Doctor nodded.

"Well, there's you're cause right there, near drowning is one of the main causes if ARDS. Even if the case is still relatively mild his oxygen levels are very low, so... I was hoping to avoid the ventilator, but if the levels don't go up the mask won't be enough. "

Emma sighed and looked at the pirate behind the glass of the room. These were bad news, very bad news. She was almost afraid to ask the next question.

"Will he recover?"

"I can't tell you for certain, but his chances are good, like I said it's a mild case. But I don't want to lie, this is a life-threatening condition and things could go badly very condition can be fatal. Let's just hope it doesn't get to that."

Just when things were looking up... Something bad happened again. Just her luck.

"Can I see him?"

"Go ahead, but he probably won't be very responsive."

Emma went into the room.

This was not the man she knew. The Killian she knew was stubborn and cheeky and talked too much. Now he was so quiet. The oxygen covered his mouth and nose and only sound in the room was the beeping of the machines. So strangely disheartening.

Emma sat on the bed. Took one those big hands on her own. No reaction.

Silence.

The hospital was full of sounds, full of people, staff and patients but she heard none of it. No, there was only the silence, the silence of the hospital room - and it was deafening. Hook was so pale and unmoving - why hadn't she seen it before? Why hadn't she seen how damaged he was? Why...?  
She closed her eyes, trying to get those intrusive thoughts out of her head.

Silence.

Oh, how she wished for a joke now. But nothing.

Well, if he wasn't going to break the silence, she would.

"You have to hang on, you hear me? I still need you. I know we've had our highs and lows and I know that I have been a bit... cold sometimes, but, still... I... just..."

Emma simply didn't know how to express herself. The was a lump of emotions forming a great ball that prevented her from finding the right word. Why did everything had to be so diffucult? But there he was, still in silence, half-hidden under that mask, unaware of her.

"Come back to me. Please. Get better."

Two tears fell down her cheeks as the machines started screaming, beeping uncontrollably.

A/N: Sorry for any mistakes related to the show, in medical aspects or in english. Hope you enjoyed! All feedback very welcome. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Emma was ushered out by the medical personnel that had flooded the room. Something was wrong - well, something was even worse than it had been. The doctor and nurses moved around frantically, taking in the data of the machines, moving, trying to save his life.

Emma was trying to fight against the guilt, the guilt that was coming now stronger than ever. This was not her fault, she knew, this was all Zelena's fault but still, she felt bad. After all that had happened had she even bothered to ask if he was okay? If he was injured, if he needed a doctor, something, anything. She'd been so focused on keeping him away, making sure he knew she wasn't staying that she had forgotten that he was person too, with limits. A person who could be hurt... and not just in his heart.

Well, maybe now she would get her wish of staying away. Maybe she wouldn't have to distance herself anymore - maybe...

_Not this way_, she thought, _please, not this way._

She closed her eyes, trying to think about something else. Closed her eyes trying to forget, trying not to be too emotional about this. She'd been happy only hours before, hadn't she? They had won. But now happy seemed so difficult - if she lost Killian too... It would still be a victory, but not sweet. All she could see suddenly where his eyes. Sad, hurt, blue eyes.

Emma sighed.

The Doctor was preparing a long plastic tube a - no. She couldn't watch this. She started walking, she'd left Henry and the others a long time ago, they were probably wondering where she was, why hadn't she returned. She didn't know if she was going to be able to handle all the happy in there, but she would have to. She took a quick look at Hook's room and felt a lump in her throat. He could easily die.

She left for her parent's room and put a strong face. This was nothing. Hook had gotten a bit sick, nothing else. No need to worry Henry and the others too much, he would probably be better after resting a bit. Besides, he was in good hands. No reason to worry at all. Gosh, if she could at least believe this herself...

"Mom! We were getting worried! What happened?" Henry asked.

Suddenly, Emma wasn't feeling confident enough to pull the there's nothing to be worried about speech.

"Hook's having some problems to breathe, Doctor's with him right now."

"Really? He seemed fine a couple of hours ago, that's weird. Are we sure this isn't some curse or something? So out of the blue..." David asked. It never hurt to be cautious.

"It's not out of the blue. It's how I lost my powers - Zelena drowned him and I had to revive him. This is apparently an after effect of that, something that's relatively common."

"Will he be ok?" Henry asked.

"Doctor says his chances are good." But that had been before all the machines started screaming. Now the Doctor was likely not so optimistic. She tried to smile, but something in her eyes must have betrayed how she felt, because the room felt suddenly much more tense.

Mary Margaret spoke.

"You look quite tired, why don't you go back to our place and get some rest? I could use some sleep too, if I'm honest."

"Sure."

And so they left.

Emma was doubtful. She briefly considered going back to Hook's room but finally decided against it. It had been a really long day, they needed a break. They were back the next morning, fresh and early.

Doctor Whale stopped her .

"Emma!"

"How is he?"

"I was getting to that right now, don't worry. I just to ask a couple of questions first, okay?" The sheriff nodded. "Any next of kin we contact?"  
"No, he's... he's alone."

_And you were planning abandoning him too_. An uncomfortable voice on the back of her head said. She ignored it, the doctor was still asking questions.

"There was bruising on his back and chest, do you know why?"

"Zelena threw us flying in the barn, now that I think about it. But we'v been thrown around so much and he has never complained...Did that cause this?"

"No, the onset was probably the drowning but it's important that we know everything to avoid further complications."

"Further... what happened?"

"We had to intubate him, I'm afraid - he went into full respiratory arrest. And there's also a fever, that appeared yesterday night, probably bacterial infection form the water..."

"Henry, why don't you go..."

"No, I want to hear it. If Hook is like this because he was helping us I want to know how bad he is. You're telling us he's worse, Doctor?"

"Yeah, quite worse. We're hoping that the vent will take from stress from the lungs, give them time to get back to normal. But this... infection, whatever this fever is, is only making this worse, and we won't know what exactly it is until we get the blood work back."

"So, his chances aren't good anymore."

"I really am sorry. He's just... His body has dealt with a lot of abuse, and not just the last days. The amount of scarring... It was only a matter of time."

"Are you saying there's no hope?" Emma said, and her voice broke a little, despite herself.

"No, no... he can get through this, with the vent and the appropiate medication, but... a lot of people in his state would be dead already. If the fever brings any other complication or stressant...which is quite possible... I...You should probably say goodbye."

"NO! No, no, no!" She was not goint to accept that.

"I really am sorry."

"Mom..."

"Hook's not going to die, Henry. He's though, he's strong. You'll see. Go to your grandparents, ok? I need to have a few words with a certain pirate."

Emma wasn't sad, she was simply angry. An unprecedented anger to hold of her as she heard the words of the Doctor, specially those saying that she should probably say goodbye. No. No way. He wasn't going to get away that easily. She stormed into his room, ignoring the nurses and people she found on her way.

Determined.

Henry watched her from a distance. Saw her break down. And saw the state Hook was in - so lifeless and silent. Sometimes, this place could so criminally unfair.

Emma came into the room practically screaming.

"You! How dare you! How dare you!? You come into New York, you break my pretty fake life, you stand by me in all this Zelena horror and now you pretend to leave? No goodbye, no explanation, nothing?"

She kicked one of the walls of the room with her boot. It was useless.

"It was me who was supposed to leave, ok?" She screamed at the silent figure in the bed. "Not you. You were supposed to continue being a pirate or something and we would go back to normal."

She breathed, deeply. And then took a good look at the pirate. Pale, a mere shadow of his former self. With that tube coming from the corner of his mouth. He had stopped breathing. That idiot. Emma thought of all he'd done for them in the last few months. And what had she done...? You don't value what you have until you lose it, she thought bitterly.

She calmed down and slumped in the chair that was by the bedside. The tears came again to her eyes, and she hastily wiped the away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell thank you for your help, I'm sorry I didn't make an effort to put myself in you position and try to understand why you did what you did. I'm sorry I didn't ask if you were okay. Just don't leave, okay? Stay. Stay here with me."

But the only answer Emma received was silence.

She cursed the heavens, cursed everything.

"Haven't I lost enough? Hasn't he lost enough already?"

But she received no answer.

Only silence.

"Killian, just... don't go."

* * *

When he awoke, there was only white blinding light and he was drowning.

Choking.

He couldn't see. He couldn't hear.

He couldn't breathe.

Where the hell was he?

A/N: Here's more! Adding some action. Where is Hook? The after life? Coma fantasy? Magically induced something? (Clue: note that this isn't listed as tragedy) Anyways, many thanks for the nice comments sp far and hope this didn't disappoint too much. It's my first time writing in this fandom and I am still a bit unsure about the characters. Hope you enjoyed!  
You know you want to review! ^^


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Hook realised was that he had two hands again.

He looked at them, amazed.

And then he looked at his surroundings. They were blurry sometimes, and kept changing. Sometimes it was the Jolly Roger, sometimes it was a port, sometimes it was the home from his early childhood. But it was never the same. Maybe if he focused... It was the ship now, his beloved ship.  
He realised he was only wearing a black cotton shirt and trousers. Where were his belongings? Where his rings and pendants? He felt naked, alone, cold. There was no one there with him - and what was this place? He tried to think how he had gotten there, but couldn't. He vaguely remembered Storybrooke and Swan but now they felt so far away. Like he'd met them years ago, on a faraway land. Storybrooke was only a distant memory, an illusion. It was not real.

The ship was real, it was regaining its edges. It the middle of some strong fog, but existing, little by little. It was becoming what was real, progressively, as Storybrooke disappeared. And there was someone on the shadows, who was it? Wait...?

"Liam...?"

It was him, wasn't it?

He turned and saw another figure.

"Milah? Is that you?"

They were there. And Hook knew that if he wanted, he could stay with them. If he just let go, he could stay with them, back in his ship, with his love. What did he have on the other side? What reason did he have to hold on to the life he had on the other side? What reason could he have to go back to Storybrooke?

And then he thought of her.

_You know what reason._

* * *

After her initial explosion, Emma calmed down a bit. There was still hope, she knew.  
If they couldn't save Killian medically then they would have to use magic. But this was not over. She would ask magical being in Storybrooke, she would ask everyone and everything, cash in all the favours she had done. There was no way she was going to lose Hook too. On all of this meltdown, the tears, the anger, the confusion, all of emotions piled up, Emma had realised a couple of things.

One was that Hook was important to her. Romantically or not, in New York or not, Hook had become a friend, an ally, someone who was there. Someone who had helped her in though times. Maybe her feelings weren't as clear as his, maybe she didn't trust him as much as she should, but... He was important. And she wanted him in her life. New York had been nice when she didn't remember, but she knew that if she truly left for New York now she was going to miss this. And him, too. That idiot pirate had wormed his way to her heart.

The other thing was that she had to remember that Hook wasn't just a person from Storybrooke that was supposed to help at all times, but that he was a person with feelings and limitations. Everybody made mistakes, and everybody acted thinking they were acting correctly. Hook had come a long way from the pirate and liar she once knew, and she hadn't shown much appreciation. She'd been angry at him for the curse, she'd been angry at him for breaking her reverie and... She needed to tell him thank you, she needed to tell him he wasn't alone.  
But to do that, to make amends, Emma needed him to wake up.

He was hanging on, which was quite impressive given how high his fever had gotten. (The Doctor had been right, it was an infection - they were lucky it didn't affect his already delicate lungs too much). He was on a comatose state, still resisting, even though they all knew his state was critical. He was pale and sweaty and visibly thinner but he was still alive. Stubbron. That was what was important.

Emma searched. She looked in books, asked for spells went everywhere she could find. It all seemed useless. It was obvious that Gold wouldn't want to help (not after their tempestuous past) and Regina was suddenly missing. Everybody said that they were sorry, but that they didn't know how to help. Well, she wouldn't give up. There had to be something there. She tried doing some healing spells herself in the vague hope that her power returned, but nothing.

Henry stayed in Killian in the hospital room sometimes. He was a smart kid, he knew that the pirate didn't have many people and knew that he was gravely ill. So, sometimes he stayed there while his mother went out to look for a cure or something. He spoke to Hook about his new brother, about how his mother was out there and would be back with help in no time.

But Emma didn't get help, she found only dead ends. The frustration was reaching really high levels, but she couldn't give up. There had to be something.

But nothing. Nothing for two weeks.

Only negatives and silence.

Until the moment the silence was finally broken.

It was a rainy Wednesday and Emma was reading in Hook's hospital room. She'd gotten used to that chair, having been in it for so long. And then she heard. A sound that she hadn't made. And there was only someone else in the room... No, she probably imagined it. She wanted Hook to wake up so badly that she was imagining things.

But then... there it was again. Like a small cough, someone choking. And it was coming from the pale figure on the bed. Emma immediately dropped the papers and approached the bed. Could this be real?

"Hook?"

C'mon, I know you can.

"Killian?"

There was another cough and the eyes opened. The machines were beeping like crazy, again. But this time Emma didn't care. This time she was glad. Her smile was as big as her face, and she felt she would almost weep with joy.

No more silence.

She looked at the confused blue eyes, indescribably happy.

"Welcome back."

A/N: Next chapter will be the conclusion! I'm hoping to post it tomorrow before the finale Did you like? Yes? No? I certainly hope you did! All comments very welcome the longer the better ;) Hope you're enjoying the angst ^^  
Review and make this author's day ;)


	4. Chapter 4

The ship was no more. The illusion faded abruptly, and suddenly the scenery around him changed completely - there were only bright lights and white walls, blurry white walls. His eyes were unfocused, unused to the light. And there was something in his throat, something that went all the way down and was preventing him form taking air. Odd. His limbs felt leaden and it was hard to move. Very odd. He started panicking a little but there was a voice there, someone that had taken his hand, someone calming him.

"Keep still." the voice said "The Doctor's coming to get the tube out. Hold on."

Then the world started being more focused and Hook realised that he was in a hospital room and that the person with him was... Emma. Looking at him as if he were some sort of miraculous vision. What was she doing there...?

Then the Doctor came in and removed the tube. It wasn't exactly a pleasant process and Hook squeezed Emma's hand trying to fight the pain and discomfort. He held back a whimper but what he couldn't help was coughing like a dying dog when that damned contraption was out.

Emma was looking at him with a mixture of concern, relief and pure joy. She couldn't believe that he was finally back - it was practically a miracle. He still looked horribly sick and had lost a lot of weight but he was there, alive, awake, responsive, breathing on his own. Emma could have wept with joy. She gently caressed the hand she was holding while the Doctor spoke.

"He'll need some weeks to go back to normal and we'll have to keep him on antibiotics until the infection clears completely, but he should make a full recovery. He'll probably be a bit disoriented, but that's to be expected. You have some water there, in case you need it."

"Thanks, Doctor." Emma beaming, irraditing happiness. They had truly won. Again.

"I'll leave you two alone."

Hook wanted to speak, but only managed to cough. Emma got him a glass of water and he took it with a shaky hand (gosh, when had he gotten so weak?) and drank it.

"What... what happened?" He rasped.

"After effects of the drowning. Your lungs had some inflammation... they just stopped working, that's why they had to put on that ventilator, so it would breathe for you. You gave us quite a scare."

"Us?" There was no one else there to be scared. Still, the fact that someone had stayed was more than what he would have expected. Hook was so exhausted that he could hardly produce a decent sarcastic comment. His lungs felt tight, his head hurt and even if he had slept for what felt like centuries, he could barely keep his eyes open.

"How... long?"

"How long were you out, you mean? A bit over two weeks. You nearly died, Hook."

She moved her hand to caress his face. He was different, paler and thinner but it was still him. And after all the uncertainty and all the grief and sadness of the last couple of weeks the return of those blue eyes was more than welcome. Hook was confused at the sudden affection, but grateful.

He wanted to say something to her, but was too tired and sore to even think properly. It was logical, considering that he'd been in near coma state for the past weeks, but still, it was frustrating.

"Don't worry." Emma said. "Rest now, I can see how tired you are. We'll have time to talk."

He was already closing his eyes when Swan spoke again. There was something she needed to say right in that moment.

"Just... Thank you for fighting, thank you for coming back. I'm really happy you're back, Killian."

He went to sleep with a small smile on his face.

Even before he woke up again, he could hear noises. Noises in the room, around him. There were rythmical beepings - the hospital, he remembered. Which explained the tightness on his chest and the small tube he felt under his nose tht went back to his ears. Probably some medical thing. But there was something more... people, people talking.

When Hook opened his eyes he discovered that not only Swan was in the room, but a big part of her family as well. There was Henry who directed a big smile his way, and there were Snow and Charming with their little boy. Hook felt a bit weird, but tried to shrug it off. Tell a joke, as usual.

"Well, If I had known I would get a welcome like this I would have nearly died much sooner."

"Don't you even think about it." Emma said, but smiled. It was good to have his old self back as opposed to the sleepy confused pale man from the previous day.

"So, how is our hero feeling?" David asked, smiling as well.

"Me, a hero? Are you feeling quite well, Prince?"

"You almost died because of injuries you got while helping us. You are most definitely a hero, mate."

Hook just nodded, strangely flattered. Hero was not a word directed to him very often.

"Well, I don't feel like I'm dying, which is an improvement from yesterday."

"You should have said something before, you know." Snow said. "We care about your well-being, as strange as it may sound given our past."

"Yeah, you're part of the team." David added, sincere.

"I am honored. And who is that little man?"

They left some minutes later, and then it was just Emma, Henry and himself. Hook felt a bit awkward but happy nonetheless. Having people that cared about him was definitely not a bad sensation. They had lunch in the room, the three of them. Like a little family.

"I always knew you'd pull through." Henry said, when they finished eating and were simply killing time.

"Well, thank you for the vote of confidence, lad."

Hook still felt like he'd been thrown out to the ocean on his ship, but all this affection made his head hurt less and coughs seem less important.

"I'm going to get the place ready, ok? I'll be back in no time." Henry said, and with a kiss to his mom and a wave at Hook, he left.

"The place?"

Emma smiled.

"Henry has found us an apartment. It's by the water, you'll love it."

"Us...?"

"Well, like the Doctor said, you'll need a few weeks to recover from this and you can't stay in that drafty cold ship all alone, so you're coming with us." Hook frowned.

"I thought you were going to New York."

"I thought so, too, but apparently I was the only one who did. It looks like we'll be staying in Storybrooke a bit longer."

Hook was playing with the remnants of his jello. As much as he enjoyed it, his throat and body couldn't handle much food at once.

"Hook... Killian. There are some things I need you to hear, so, just... don't interrupt me, ok?"

The pirate raised his eyebrow but nodded, intrigued.

"First is that I need you to know that you are very important to me. We've had many up and downs, and there have been times when I wanted to slap you, but... Even if I maybe cold sometimes, or distant... It's just a defense, it's nothing to do with you. You have changed and you have done such great things for us, I don't know if I ever thanked you properly, but... You're important, okay? Don't ever let me make you feel otherwise. And also, I'm sorry I was so busy trying to get away from you and all of this that I didn't notice you were hurting. You're quite good at hiding it, to be honest, but still, I should have asked. And next time, if you're not all right, say something. It's okay to be hurt sometimes. None of us are invulnerable."

Hook's eyes were strangely shiney, but Emma wasn't going to mention it.

"I... I am touched... Emma. I didn't know you cared."

"I do. Even if I didn't want to, I do. I even cried a little when we thought you were going to die." She admitted, laughing a bit, to try try and make matters less it was okay to admit it. The guy deserved some love after two weeks in a near coma, didn't he?

"Now, that I cannot believe." He said, in his usual whispery voice. "The mighty Sheriff Swan shedding tears over a lowly pirate?"

"That's the point I was trying to make, idiot. You're not just a lowly pirate - you're my pirate."

They both smiled. No witch, no curse, nothing to distract them. Now it was just the two of them in that room. Suddenly, the silence was perfect.

"Are you really going to let me stay with you?" Hook asked, still a bit uncertain.

"But you have to promise me one thing, ok?"

"What is it?"

Emma pu her best seroius-business voice and face.

"That you will never, ever scare me like that again."

"Fair enough."

* * *

When Henry went back to the room, it was in total silence. Odd. He imagined his mother and Hook would have lots to talk about. But what he saw made him grin like an idiot.

His mother had climbed on Hook's bed and was cuddled next to him, just watching him sleep. When she saw Henry, she motioned for him to be silent and winked at him. Henry saw the smile in his mother's face and the peaceful expression on Killian's. He was really looking forward to living in that apartment, just the three of them, as was Emma.

Looking at Killian and Henry she felt hopeful. She knew that there would be many more challenges to face, to right there and now, in the silence of the room...

It felt like a happy ending.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the ending! It's fluffy and happy because Hook deserves some love, the poor thing. Hope you enjoyed! And please do comment, on the chapter or the story as a whole ^^ As I said, it's my first time in the fandom. Did you like it? What did you likeee? And thanks for the support so far ;)

You know you want to review!


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